Pay Yourself First

So this concept of paying yourself first or putting yourself first is counterintuitive to everything most of us grew up learning. Most of us grew up with the mentality of putting others before us, helping others first, giving to them first, loving them more than ourselves. Growing up in the south I think I came out of the womb thinking this. As a southern woman I know I grew up as a people pleaser. Whatever it takes to please those around me that "needed" me. I still struggle with this today. I care more about them than they care about themselves and pour tons of energy into them to please them and "help" them. This is a limiting belief: meaning it isn't correct, we believe it to the core and it limits us in some way.

But here's the truth of the matter. Putting others before yourself is the ultimate act in selfishness. That's right, I said selfish. You may say "How's that possible if I give to others more and before myself?"

Think of what the flight attendants say when they are giving you instructions before take off. In the event of depressurization you are supposed to put your mask on before helping anyone else put on theirs. Think about it. If you don't get your mask on in time, there is no way you will be able to help anyone else.

The same applies to every single day of your life. If you don't take care for yourself and fill up your own cup first, you won't have enough to give fully to others. And there's the rub and why it is so selfish to not "pay" yourself first. You can't be the best version of you to share with others if you aren't full. What you have to share is something only you can share. Whatever that may be...makeup tutorials, a caretaker, a mom, a dad, an employee, and employer, a church member, an instagram star, whatever. You have something the world needs and you need to be able to share it fully and you simply can't if you haven't taken care of yourself. No excuses. The work can wait, the loved one can wait, the kids can wait. Build some boundaries for yourself and ask for help. Fill your cup up to overflowing and feed others from the saucer.

Fill your cup over and serve others from what's in the saucer.